These excuses will help you get away.

Late for work and school, evading parents, escape the world, get away from work and school, out on weekday, time flies, counting time, checking time, look at my new watch

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We all tried to avoid a few dreaded situations; be it work, school, social gatherings, or parents. Perhaps we’re just lazy, which most of the time we are. Other times we felt insecure to attend or have something better to do like pick your white hairs, camp out up at an Apple store and daydream about your proposal.

That’s nice to get away situations you don’t feel comfortable. What’s not cool is to provide lame excuses. I’m talking about having diarrhea, futile alarm clocks, your dog ate your car keys or there’s a monster under your bed.  Let’s do better than that. Here are the best excuses you’ll ever encounter.

Crime Witness

I was just getting a coffee in Starbucks this morning and I saw a man opened a car in traffic, pulled out the driver and drove away, grand theft auto style. I’m one of the witnesses so the police had to interrogate me.

Why it will work: The law sided with you, so there’s no argument against that.

Airline’s Mistake

The airline booked me on the wrong date and the best time to fix it is as soon as possible to avoid further problems with seat availability.

Why it will work: This situation is time-dependent. Everyone knows that airline’s flight schedule would not depend on just one passenger, so it needs to be fixed rightaway.

Faucet to the Rescue

Got a text from my son. He left the faucet on at home so sorry I have to drift away.

Why it will work: They’ll get it, you want to save your house from becoming an aquarium, and save you from heart attack ensued by ceiling high water bills.

Medical Condition Maximized

I can’t breath right. Just had an asthma attack this morning. I think I’ll need to visit my physician if this doesn’t get better.

Why it will work: It is an extreme and unusual medical condition so it appears believable. Not all illness work. Good ones are asthma, hyperacidity and vertigo. Bad ones stomachache, headache, heartache and dead nails. Honorable ones are flu and sore eyes, because they are contagious.

Presence Warranted

My sister is getting an abortion and I’m the only person she can trust fully to be there. She needs my utmost presence, and I’m obliged to talk her out from doing it.

Why it will work: Though horrible it may seem to lie about, this works since you tried to save a person. Same goes with suicidal persons needing intervention.

Be sure you won’t be caught because when your boss found out you’ve just auditioned in American Idol, you just hope you got the positive ‘Yo’.

I know you have one, what’s your best excuse?

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