These excuses will help you get away.
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We all tried to avoid a few dreaded situations; be it work, school, social gatherings, or parents. Perhaps we’re just lazy, which most of the time we are. Other times we felt insecure to attend or have something better to do like pick your white hairs, camp out up at an Apple store and daydream about your proposal.
That’s nice to get away situations you don’t feel comfortable. What’s not cool is to provide lame excuses. I’m talking about having diarrhea, futile alarm clocks, your dog ate your car keys or there’s a monster under your bed. Let’s do better than that. Here are the best excuses you’ll ever encounter.
Crime Witness
I was just getting a coffee in Starbucks this morning and I saw a man opened a car in traffic, pulled out the driver and drove away, grand theft auto style. I’m one of the witnesses so the police had to interrogate me.
Why it will work: The law sided with you, so there’s no argument against that.
Airline’s Mistake
The airline booked me on the wrong date and the best time to fix it is as soon as possible to avoid further problems with seat availability.
Why it will work: This situation is time-dependent. Everyone knows that airline’s flight schedule would not depend on just one passenger, so it needs to be fixed rightaway.
Faucet to the Rescue
Got a text from my son. He left the faucet on at home so sorry I have to drift away.
Why it will work: They’ll get it, you want to save your house from becoming an aquarium, and save you from heart attack ensued by ceiling high water bills.
Medical Condition Maximized
I can’t breath right. Just had an asthma attack this morning. I think I’ll need to visit my physician if this doesn’t get better.
Why it will work: It is an extreme and unusual medical condition so it appears believable. Not all illness work. Good ones are asthma, hyperacidity and vertigo. Bad ones stomachache, headache, heartache and dead nails. Honorable ones are flu and sore eyes, because they are contagious.
Presence Warranted
My sister is getting an abortion and I’m the only person she can trust fully to be there. She needs my utmost presence, and I’m obliged to talk her out from doing it.
Why it will work: Though horrible it may seem to lie about, this works since you tried to save a person. Same goes with suicidal persons needing intervention.
Be sure you won’t be caught because when your boss found out you’ve just auditioned in American Idol, you just hope you got the positive ‘Yo’.
I know you have one, what’s your best excuse?
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Too funny! I hope I never use any of them….
Hahaha. Hopefully I won’t have to use any of these. Cheers.
actually the best excuses i have ever read! 😛
I actually had to do the faucet one before nd yes the kitchen faucet was running and yes the floor was soaked.
Illness excuses are often followed by “Well, bring something from the doctor for our records.” Illness is actually a horrible excuse.
True…unless you fall under ADA guidelines. Then you just have to prove to HR (not your actual boss) that you are being treated for said condition and it *could* have caused you miss work at the time. Granted, doesn’t work for more than 2 days in a row, but for one-time events…it’s there. Then again, I’m a functional crazy person. 😀
Great excuses. I blush when I lie, my face, my neck and my chest gets extremely red and no make up in the world can cover it. In my case it’s easier to always tell the truth, :).
You will probably go to the bad place for this!!! LOL.
Great, funny article.
I didn’t return to work after a 3-day weekend – showed up after a couple extra days having called the boss and told him “my friend I was visiting became really ill and I felt I should stay and help him out for a couple of days.
When I showed up in Wednesday, he gave me the sarcastic question, “well, how’s your friend doing, now?”
I replied, “He died.”
He shut up the rest of the week. Of course, you can only use that one once.
Thanks for the follow, I love your blog! This post is awesome. It’s always a tricky thing giving a convincing BS excuse lol; have to give just enough uncomfortable subject matter and detail to keep people from second-guessing you and asking questions, but not so much as to sound rehearsed. You seem to have hit the nail on the head 🙂
woow great excuss….may be i could use a couple of them at some point 😉
Loved this. Funny and useful 🙂
And thank you for liking my post.