The Art of the Silent Fart

Wait to hear a pop, then release the rest of the piggybacking fart.
by Edwin of awkwardlist.com

Photo from Matias Jaramillo’s flickr

The whole world needs to be able to fart freely, because nobody wants to hold it in for so long that you explode, and we all know that you should never force such a thing. You see, by the time farts come out, most of it is composed of nitrogen. If you’re a nervous person who swallows a lot of air and digests things quickly, your farts may contain a lot of oxygen.

Why do they stink?

Small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture (compounds that contain sulfur) makes them smell. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct, which create bubbles that are small, hot, and heavily concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. Aka the silent-but-deadly.

If you skipped the last paragraph because I used chemistry, I’m not offended.

In order for you to fart silently, there are a few techniques out there that can help you out:

1. Let out a little gas (you may hear a pop) and then release the rest piggybacking on the opening the pop made. If you can stop the pop, you’re golden.
2. Squat. A band conductor once suggested this to us, and even though I haven’t tried it.. I still don’t endorse it. It’s risky.
3. Muffle the sound somehow.

Didn’t think you’d be getting a lesson on flatulence this morning, right? Haha! You’re welcome!

Any awkward fart stories out there?

Best Prisons to Live

Some prisons are as good as your holiday vacation.

Prisons are punishment for misconduct. They are built to maintain order in the society, believing in the premise that getting into prison sucks your privilege to live freely so you wouldn’t want to be there.

These five prisons are still prisons in a way that it locks you out of the “real world”, but there are privileges that would make you rethink which would you prefer to be in.

Five star prison in Austria

Photo from grazt.at

What the hell right? People save up for 3 day brief stays in a five star hotel, when these inmates in Justizzentrum Leoben get to stay in a five star facility for years, if not lifetime. The prison is secured, luxurious and modern.

Cebu inmates dance

Photo from knowyourmeme.com

They are the inmates in the viral hit “Thriller“, which has 51.5 million views (so far). Instead of burning time inside the cells, they learn a routine, dance in synchrony, and post it to YouTube. Their latest vid? Gangnam style.

Family unit cells

Photo from gulfnews.com

Somewhere in Spain, the Aranjuez prison is nice enough to build family unit cells where the prisoners could bond with his/her children. The walls are painted with jolly Disney characters. Playground and nursery are accessible.

Community-based the prison

Photo from palmer365.com

San Pedro Prison in Bolivia is close to normal. No guards, no gates, no bars. Instead, you’ll see children playing around with “market stalls, restaurants, hairdressers and even a hotel” (Murano, 2009).  On top of it all, prisoners have to work and buy their own cells. Like the outside world, the more money you have, the more advantaged your situation will be.

The summer camp prison

Photo from CNN.com

Inmates in Bastoy Prison will feel like in a holiday, whole year round. They have horses to ride around the island of pine trees and rocky coasts. Craving a baked salmon? They have chefs to cook for them. They even have the beach to dip in summer; and the ocean’s view will always be there if they want to relax. Aaah, imagine the sound of that. Ironically, they have a more free lifestyle inside the prison distant from what they can afford. No surprise that 20% of prisoners who are released reoffend to come back.

Would you approve of these prisons?

Sources:
10 of the World’s Most Unusual Prisons; Oddee
Welcome to the world’s nicest prison; CNN

Hairstyles Experiment

This decade has experimented on hair more than any other.

Photos from Paul Waite’s and Lindsey Gee’s flickr

The 100,000 to 150,000 hairs on our scalp have an evolutionary purpose. It is our natural sun-block as it protects our head against the sun. It regulates our bodily temperature by trapping heat from escaping our head. But the more important prospect we root on is, it makes us look good. It is our extension of self-expression and fashion.

You remember that oceanic expanse of hair that’s aggressively intruding a personal space? Everybody looks like that in the 80’s; but now, people are more creative in stressing distinction through their hair.

It dazzles me how women can change hairstyles in a blink. One moment my sister’s hair is shoulder short, then on a different place it was way down her back. And I have to beat myself because I know how hair extensions work without researching about it. Women can switch hair colors too, braid it, put a hole in it, cut it shorter than men’s hair, and shape it like a ribbon or a horse.

Men started to care about their hairs as well. It used to be 5 mins lapse time between bath and going out of the house, but now we have to style our hairs. A man will give permission to touch anything in his body but not the hair. We hated spending so much time for beautification and we won’t risk anybody messing with it. There’s a serious trouble to place a finger on men’s hairstyles, including artful shaves, emotive spikes (that comes along with flat emotion), mohawk and doll-head wig.

I spiked my hair upward like a pointed weapon. What experimentation did you do with your hairstyle?

Alternative Therapies

Snakes as your masseuse and urine as your facial wash.

I can have a massage therapy every week – I feel rested and cozy. But I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me because I’m not satisfied with that. Doing the same things over and over is terribly boring. Let’s see what alternative therapies I’ve got at my disposal.

Snake Massage Therapy

Photo from oddstuffmagazine.com

This is supposed to be relaxing, but how can you do that when snakes are dancing in your face and body? The snakes used are non-venomous but you would only know for sure if you didn’t die, and they still can bite. This is for the tough-hearted.

Past Life Regression Therapy

Photo from Kathryn Cartwright’s flickr

If you have breathing difficulties, you probably have been buried alive in your past life. This therapy digs the unresolved issues of your previous self, which it claims to be the root of your health problems.

Laughter Therapy

Photo from Craig Cochrane’s flickr

All you do in this therapy is laugh. You force yourself to laugh and continue to laugh until the session ends. People laugh because they’re happy, but people can be happy when they laugh too. It must be liberating to laugh like crazy.

Maggot Debridement Therapy

Photo from Steven Depolo’s flickr

Maggots can clean your infected wounds. You immerse your wound, say your cut finger, in a whirlpool of maggots and they kill the antibiotic-resistant bacteria in it. I’m sure my doctor can come up with something stronger than antibiotic. I’ll pay, I promise but not the Maggots.

Urine Therapy

Photo from SuSanA Secretariat’s flickr

I’ve watched this in television and people really drink their own urine  kidding aside. They also use urine as facial wash for babies in China. They believed that urine can cure. Dare to put this in your bucket list?

Bee Sting and Leech Therapy

Photos from healthyfellow.com; OakleyOriginals’ flickr

For some reason people disliked mainstream medicine, they let the bees stung them and leeches suck them. If you prefer the leech one, you have to immerse yourself in turpentine first.

Sound Therapy

Photo from Tess Watson’s flickr

Sound frequencies can heal, apparently. It can put balance in your body. It can “act like vitamins and minerals”. Give me the sound of vitamin A plus iodine!

Beer Therapy

Photo from beerbath.eu

Oh how can you not love this? You bathe in beer. Drink while it rejuvenates you. This is how people in Czech Republic, Austria and Germany roll.

Ho’oponopono

Photo from lightsoflove.us

This is a Hawaiian practice that targets the root of an illness like the past life regression therapy. If there’s dispute, anger or guilt, you have to be “sorry” and “make it up” and see the magic in your life.

Virtual Dolphin Therapy

Photo from Patrik Jones’ flickr

Just imagine dolphins swimming in the calm sea. I know, it’s softening.

What therapy would you try?

Sources:

Top 10 Weird Health Therapies; TopTenz.net

12 Most Bizarre Modern Alternative Medical Treatments; WebEcoist

 

Weird & Wacky Holidays

Do you know that we are celebrating the air conditioning appreciation holiday?

Men’s Grooming Day is August 17. Photo from groceryheadquarters.com

Christmas is among the biggest holiday, but the birth of Christ isn’t the only cause we celebrate. Even the minute affairs have their own days:

January. For the first month, we have the annoying opposite day and couple that with nothing day, we should have high dose of playfulness or tolerance. Our feet was taken into focus alongside blaming someone else for starting a rumor.

Blame someone else day – 13th (or first Friday the 13th day of the year)
Nothing day – 16th
Measure your feet day – 23rd
Opposite day – 25th

 

February. If you’re dying to change your name, this is good; but if you love your name already, you’ll have to change it for a day. You could cry any day on a spilled milk but not on the 11th.

Read in the bathtub day – 9th

Don’t cry over spilled milk day – 11th
Get a different name day – 13th
Wear red day – 25th

 

March. Fantastic month. There’s a day of awesomeness, which I celebrate everyday, be nasty day and oh, waffle day! We better get a great haircut because haircut appreciation day is coming. And there’s Bunsen burner day. Wait, what is a Bunsen burner again?

Be nasty day – 8th
Day of awesomeness – 10th
Waffle day – 25th
Hairstyle appreciation day – 30th
Bunsen burner day – 31st

 

April. Start the month fooling and end it with honesty (handle both with caution). Stop the housework and look at the sky. High five with a friend after picking your nose; then memorize the meaning of DNA. This is April.

April fool’s day – 1st
No housework day – 7th
Look up at the sky day – 14th
High five day – 19th
DNA day – 20th
International nose picking day – 23rd
Honesty day – 30th

 

May. I think people are hungriest at this month. They invented the no diet day, which you would eat without any regard. Count a few days then there’s eat what you want day, pick strawberries day and even chicken dancing day – it can be any type of dance but it has to be chicken. Star Wars day is May the 4th, get it?

Star Wars day – 4th
No diet day – 6th
Eat what you want day – 11th
Dance like a chicken day – 14th
Pick strawberries day – 20th

 

June. I get to practice my acting skills by getting panicked exaggeratedly on seeing the news. One question, why the hell would you take your dog to your work? Veterinarians, don’t answer.

Dare day – 1st
Hug holiday – 11th
International panic day – 18th
Take your dog to work day – 23rd

 

July. You think the geeks would let the awesome to have a day on their own? They’ve got their day too. There’s a day for getting out of the doghouse, which you should have not waited for this day to come out if you entered it. Sorry bee sting victims, you can’t avenge and step on a bee on the 10th. Maybe step on bees?

Stay out of the sun day – 3rd
Compliment your mirror day – 3rd
Don’t step on a bee day – 10th
Embrace your geekness day – 13th
Get out of the doghouse day – 16th

 

August. Woohoooo! Bad poetry day – I’ve got an excuse. Wiggle thy toes, thou breath today, you shall groom, if you’re a dude. That bad, eh?

Fresh breath day – 6th
Wiggle your toes day – 6th
Men’s grooming day – 17th
Bad poetry day – 18th

 

September. Video games day is the most important day on any month. Don’t ask why, it’s not stupid.

Be late for something day – 5th
Video games day – 12th
Talk like a pirate day – 19th
Ask a stupid question day – 28th

October. It’s possible for gay people to come out many times this month. They face the fear of coming out on 9th, coming out day on 11th, and shout out their coming out in caps lock on 22nd.

Face your fears day – 9th
Coming out day – 11th
Caps lock day – 22nd
Increase your psychic powers day – 31st

 

November. If there’s a day dedicated for cleaning refrigerators, does that mean I can do it once a year?

False confession day – 21st
Clean your refrigerator day – 15th
Beautiful day – 20th

 

December. I’m interested, how does a bathtub party work? I guess being nice starts on the 4th, it’s Santa’s list day.

Eat a red apple day – 1st
Santa’s list day – 4th
Bathtub party day – 5th

 

It may be silly to form holidays for appreciating the air conditioners or looking at the sky, especially when holidays are widely celebrated for the esteemed dates in history. I think this is a great, great thing to remind us that it doesn’t have to be a huge deal for us to celebrate. It would add an exciting spice to life if we just abandon everything and take the moment to celebrate the little things – it matters!

I’d like to have an act like drunk day. What weird and wacky things/situations you’d like to be a holiday?

More Moments for you:
Loath these Laws
SillyWebsiteNames.com
10 Gorgeous World Leaders of 2012

Sources:
Days of the Year
Holiday Insights