Judge Your Parents

Take note of their good sides, but take closer look on the bad sides.

Photo from Brian Turner’s flickr

When it’s our turn to be kids, we loved our parents so much. You show your dad that you can throw a baseball or show your mom the beautiful flower you just picked. You’re always by their side; you hug them and cry if you can’t see them.

Then, we enter the teenage years. We may despised because they’re intruding. They’d want to teach us life lessons but we wanted to live our own life differently and not be told what to do.

They say we’ll go back to loving them more once we grew out of the teenage years. When we started having our own families, they say we’ll be exactly like our parents. I hope not.

Criticize your parents. Don’t hate them so much that you don’t recognize their good side; and don’t love them too much that you don’t recognize their bad side. Try not to repeat the mistakes and the displeasing side of your parents.

They gave birth to you and that commands respect; but they don’t always do the right thing. Not because they’re your parents you just accept all they say and do as if they created everything right. I’m not denouncing the roles of parents, but I’ve seen parents who will assert that they’re always right in their families.

Parents can say and do right or wrong. You don’t have to brag it to them, love and respect, and just filter what’s coming in to you.

What Your Birth Order Says About You

No two children are alike, and your birth order appears to sway that difference.

Photo from photoXpress

You don’t have the choice to be born the eldest, or the youngest, but have you yearned to be born in a different order? Perhaps you despised your eldest bro being bossy, or the youngest being spoiled while you, the middle child, was given the least amount of time from parents. Or have you died in the immense expectations, as the eldest, to be the one that the family will be proud of?

Our birth order affected us.

Renowned psychiatrist Alfred Adler elaborated in his theories that the child’s characteristics are based on birth order. Here are the descriptions by the simplification of Dr. Stein:

Oldest Child

• Family Situation: Dethroned by next child. Has to learn to share. Parent expectations are usually very high. Often given responsibility and expected to set an example.
• Characteristics: May become authoritarian or strict. Feels power is his right. Can become helpful if encouraged. May turn to father after birth of next child.

Middle Child

• Family Situation: Is “sandwiched” in. May feel squeezed out of a position of privilege and significance.
• Characteristics: May be even-tempered, “take it or leave it” attitude. May have trouble finding a place or become a fighter of injustice.

Youngest Child

• Family Situation: Has many mothers and fathers. Older children try to educate him. Never dethroned.
• Characteristics: Wants to be bigger than the others. May have huge plans that never work out. Can stay the “baby.” Frequently spoiled.

Are you the only child, have a twin, the only boy, only girl or in any child position not in the typical above? Head on to Adlerian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics.

A few more interesting findings from birth order studies:

• Firstborns claim IQ advantage, having more IQ points than the younger sibling. Concurrently, a secondborn is smarter than the third based on IQ.
• Elders weight more and stood taller than later-born siblings.
• High-paying professions often inhere with elders, while the “exhilarating life of an artist or a comedian, an adventurer, entrepreneur, GI or firefighter” are for the youngest. Middle children remained a puzzle, as it seems that their record differs profusely.

Psychologist Diana L. Walcutt added that spacing between children matters. It is especially true when the gap went over 6 years, meaning the siblings belonged to different generation of fad, music, events, and even exposed to different administration of governance.

It seems, to my case, that these birth order findings held true. I’m a middle child, and you can only imagine the existing and unsparing competition between me and my elder sister. How about you, what does birth order says about you and your siblings?

More Moments for you:
What Your Sleeping Position Says About You
Men and Women Shopping Dissimilarity
Children: Robots Are Human

Sources:
Adlerian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics; Adlerian.us
Birth Order and Personality; PsychCentral
The Power of Birth Order; TIME