Wait to hear a pop, then release the rest of the piggybacking fart.
by Edwin of awkwardlist.com
Photo from Matias Jaramillo’s flickr
The whole world needs to be able to fart freely, because nobody wants to hold it in for so long that you explode, and we all know that you should never force such a thing. You see, by the time farts come out, most of it is composed of nitrogen. If you’re a nervous person who swallows a lot of air and digests things quickly, your farts may contain a lot of oxygen.
Why do they stink?
Small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture (compounds that contain sulfur) makes them smell. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct, which create bubbles that are small, hot, and heavily concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. Aka the silent-but-deadly.
If you skipped the last paragraph because I used chemistry, I’m not offended.
In order for you to fart silently, there are a few techniques out there that can help you out:
- Let out a little gas (you may hear a pop) and then release the rest piggybacking on the opening the pop made. If you can stop the pop, you’re golden.
- Squat. A band conductor once suggested this to us, and even though I haven’t tried it.. I still don’t endorse it. It’s risky.
- Muffle the sound somehow.
Didn’t think you’d be getting a lesson on flatulence this morning, right? Haha! You’re welcome!
Any awkward fart stories out there?
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