Archives for category: Humor

Acronyms made our life’s verbal aspect easier, but you’ll frown at this list!

Using Acronyms, internet and text messaging acronyms, teenage and organizational acronym

Using Acronyms. Photo from osakabentures.com

I’m thankful for the invention of it. I can breath smoothly while talking because there’s no need for me to say ‘National Aeronautics and Space Administration’; I’ll just mouth NASA. It’s more convenient and safe too, especially when in conversation about a person in the vicinity. It would mean no harm if I say TBT than ‘That Bastard There’ or ‘TIIC’ than ‘Those Idiots in Charge’.

I could use acronyms to score a girl by pulling out pawns like HOLLAND, which meant ‘Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies’ – touchdown! Asia will do fine as well, like INDIA, which meant ‘I Nearly Died In Adoration’; or I could jump in Africa, like EGYPT, which meant ‘Everything’s Great, You Pretty Thing!’. Okay, let’s stop this continental atrocity.

FBI, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, always appear to me as a cool word. YOLO is nice too, ‘You Only Live Once’. But regardless of the meaning of an acronym, some of it just sound damn great and appropriate, but not the list below. I scraped the internet for the worst acronyms ever created. Here they are:

Acronym: ASOL
Meaning: The American Symphony Orchestras League
Side comment: It’s just that, it sounds like you know what hole.

Acronym: STUPID
Meaning: St. Thomas University of Public International Diplomacy
Side comment: I feel so sorry for the university, such an irony to be called stupid.

Acronym: MANPADS
Meaning: Man-portable air-defense systems
Side comment: This is effin’ hilarious!

Acronym: ASS
Meaning: American Society of Scotts
Side comment: I imagined it how the man would say “Hi, I’m the president of ASS”.

Acronym: PUMCODOXPURSACOMLOPOLAR
Meaning: Pulse Modulated Coherent Doppler-Effect X-Band Pulse-Repetition Synthetic-Array Pulse Compression Side Lobe Planar Array
Side comment: If I ever need to use this in a sentence (don’t think it’ll happen), I’ll refer you as ‘that thingy’.

Those are my favorites. You could check out more in Beg to Differ’s NOMO: The 25 worst acronyms in the world and in Linkedin’s discussion Worst acronym for an organization name?

What is the worst acronym?

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We are adults now, so we can eat balloons whenever we want.

Eating Helium Balloons, eating inedible, eating objects, pathological disorder eating

Eating Helium Balloons. Photo from geekologie.com

I swallowed a coin. It is not accidental but I really put it into my mouth and sipped every irony taste of it. It is delicious; sometimes it could be a substitute to candies if you ran out of it.

The coin traveled down to my insides but got tucked within my esophagus, and that wasn’t a good feeling. I fought against my involuntary muscles to free it, but to no avail. Quickly, my brother handed me a banana, ate a slab of it but before taking it in, my brother slammed my back and I vomited it all, including the coin. Aaah, I’m amazed it worked!

My friend used to eat dog food, but he thought it was biscuits for humans. Nonetheless, he wouldn’t know the difference and it tastes alright. Another friend of mine loved herself so much, she couldn’t stop taking in what her body is supposedly shoving out. She bites her nails, early in morning, when conversing and while washing dishes. We all have our abnormalities.

One time, curiosity hit me and my friends. We were hanging out in a garden, two of us with Sprite and Pepsi cola in hand. This brilliant one blurted his idea of mixing two sodas with different plants around. And the rest of us are more brilliant in agreeing with it. We fetched one bowl and picked every representative flowers and leaves around the garden, ripped it to the smallest bits. We poured in the sodas and mixed it all, then you guess it! We took turns in drinking it, yum.

How about chewing straw, licking tissue paper, any other? Done that. What are the inedible things you’ve eaten/tasted in the past? Don’t you dare deny it,

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It’s common knowledge that women go to restroom in packs, but men do it too.

Man and Woman Peeing, men and women peeing restroom dissimilarity, what women men does inside the restroom

Man and Woman Peeing. Photo from thoughts.com

It’s a puzzle why women go to washroom all together, and why does it take them a freakin’ bluemoon in doing it. I mean, I can finish all Stephen King’s books before the girls reappear themselves from peeing.

I know it’s longer for a woman to leak; and there’s more hassle. But come on, I think you use that place to giggle and gossip. That’s about it, right?

Men do it too, but we just won’t say it out loud, like “Hey bros, let’s go to washroom together”, for the obvious reason of it sounding too gay. But it goes like this: one guy would want to pee, and now that he says it, the other men would now feel they needed to pee; so in turn, everybody’s peeing!

I’ll tell you what’s happening inside our “man room”. First, guys don’t pee next to each other in urinals. Usually, there are about four to eight urinals, so a man is free to choose which wall he’ll face. But it’s awkward to pee next to each other, it’s erratic and uncomfortable. There’s a study that implanted a camera in urinals, and it took longer for men to start leaking when next to some other dude.

It’s not a networking event, so men shouldn’t talk so much there. Public restroom is disgusting, and I always wanted to get straight to business and get out of it at the soonest possible time. But see, there are men who prate while peeing. They are the ones who talk about his singleness or his bowel issues. They should be hanged, and then stabbed to be sure.

Watch the dissimilarity:

What men Do In Toilet

What Women Do In Toilet

What are your restroom habits?

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7 was I when my first pet dog sprung in my life.

Young Golden Retriever Pet, young white puppy, cute dog buddy, adorable dog likes photo and camera, outside in the grass white dog

Photo from stock.xchng

I only had him for less than a week. My mom reported that he escaped, but I severely doubt that.

My family wasn’t a fan of pets, and mom was a special mention. Apparently, pets pee whenever, wherever and are dependency. It’s pretty much comparable to a human baby so I wonder what has it’s been like when I was a baby.. Maybe I’d be thankful that I can’t remember.

My unrestrainedly rich uncle owns a successful fish pond business, and he gave me a tiny turtle that I loved. Everytime I arrive home from school I check him out in the water barrel at the side of our house, and he’ll be there just floating around. I’m telling you, he’s like this wile one here:

Pet turtle, cute Pet turtle in hands, small Pet turtle, turtle escaped, white

Photo from photoXpress

Cool huh? Not long was the stay of my pet turtle. A storm came by and indoors was the safest place for the family. When the sky cleared out, I checked him in his barrel habitat and it was full. The water piled up and the turtle got away. You know what slow turtles always say, “so long, sucker!”

I was given another chance and my uncle gave me two fighting fishes, blue and red. They’re like underwater angels, see:

Pet Fighting Fish, blue and red fighting fish together, angel fish, pet fish at home, alone fish, underwater peacock, colorful fins

Photo from Michelle Tribe’s flickr

I’m torn, can’t decide which one is more flamboyant – them or peacocks. Anyway, you shouldn’t put them in one fishbowl together or else they’ll kill each other. That is exactly what happened, and some people just wanted to see it live in action.

The last pet I had, was also the fastest gone out. My grandfather gave me one lovebird from his collection, looking like this:

Pet Lovebird, cute Pet Lovebird, alone and lonely lovebird, red strong love bird on a branch

Photo from photoXpress

Didn’t even had the chance to see him fly. He only dropped dead hours after I got him. I was 12. But now I learned that love birds tend to suicide when separated with their loved one. Awww, made me feel better. I thought I just have a pet killing aura that got stronger.

All these pets come and go in a flash, I didn’t even get to name any of them. Thing is, I want so bad to have pets; well, the lasting types. I desired a dog most especially, up to now.

I wanted to share how my dog buddy messed my dad’s cake, or how many times my sissy hamster got away and found in laundry, or how a false-scorpion-outbreak-alert can make people jump every single time; but except for the death-themed ones, I don’t have any delighting pet story to share that people would fancy hearing.

Do you have any pet story that are funny, cute, embarrassing, or any story you’re proud to share?

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Ironing is not boring at all, just make it extreme.

New sport, extreme ironing, ironing no more boring, cool people iron clothes, ironing in wedding, extreme sports, skydive ironing

Burnishing an electronically heated flat pan of iron to make your garments unwrinkled – boring! You don’t just stand there. Hey hit-or-miss idea, why not iron your clothes in a zoo, or between pushups, or while hula hooping, or free falling at 53 m/s like this guy.

Extreme Ironing Skydive, extreme sports, awkward absurd things to do in air, cool dive iron clothes while free falling

Photo from slices-of-life.com

Or underwater. Right after you wash it, all the while defying the science of electricity. Just don’t let it dry up.

Extreme Ironing Underwater, underwater trip, awesome ironing of clothes, young man tries to iron wet clothes under water

Photo from flatrock.org.nz

Or even bring your friends, yeah! Ironing sessions, that’s very masculine.

Extreme Ironing Underwater with Friends, group manly ironing sessions, masculine works, ironing water diving

Photo from teara.govt.nz

Or at your wedding? It’s a long day, don’t judge.

Extreme Ironing at Wedding, ridiculous funny wedding couple photo, wacky wedding, ironing wedding dress, smile couple

Photo from unst.org

Or make James Franco in 127 Hours look lame.

Extreme Ironing between Rocks, cool awesome dude ironing, topless man ironing, adventurers iron clothes, white iron

Photo from strangeandweirdhobbies.com

Or while leading a skiing squad.

Extreme Ironing Skii, ironing at cold snow, awesome and wicked extreme sports, snow dancing while ironing, speeding in the snow while ironing

Photo from awesomeoff.com

Or on the edge of the world. A peaceful place to iron, everybody needs that.

Extreme Ironing on Mountaintop, cool place to do iron clothes, man ironing white clothes, mountain view, windy ironing clothes

Photo from oddculture.com

If it hasn’t dawned on you, Extreme Ironing is a sport. Yeah it’s a real thing, google it!

How extreme can you iron your clothes?

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