Children can learn sex at home, in school or in the street.
Photo from Ross Griff’s flickr
The family is watching a movie one cozy night and a seemingly nice guy character, the one your son liked and looked up to, said the words “hand job”. Your son replicated the word ending it with a question mark, how will you respond? What will you say to your younger sister when she asked what “sex” is upon hearing it from you?
We can escape these questions of the young by lying and denying. But at some point, they’ll be old enough to know the terms and they’ll learn more about it somewhere. Will it be at home, school or in the streets?
It is a parent’s fear to expound the idea of sex to their child. They see them as delicate beings and preaching them sexual profanity is a contamination to their mind. But they have organs that work, drive to copulate and minds to fill.
Talking about sex within the family is uncomfortable for the child and the parent. Certain parents aren’t confident to even say the vulgar words their children are sure to learn somewhere. If they won’t learn it inside the house, an option is to let the educators teach them.
Sex education at school goes beyond the act of reproducing but also covers sensitive issues like sexuality and sexual health. Classes are gender specific to focus on issues pertaining to their gender and to avoid embarrassment against the opposite sex.
Schools may offer two types of sex education classes. The Comprehensive Sexuality Education teaches broad range of issues including body image, masturbation and contraception. The other class, called the Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Program, will not bear students with pressing information but will assert the abstinence from all sexual behaviors.
The Comprehensive Sexuality Education may be in conflict with family and religious beliefs. Handing them the details may entice them but will emphasize on safe sex. While abstinence is a rigorous battle in today’s society, it is the safest way to avoid problems arising from premarital and unsafe sex.
If there’s no talk at home, and even in school, they’ll eventually get the information outside. It takes bold faith to entrust this lesson to the public.
Wherever you’re coming from, we agree that unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases can potentially ruin a person’s life.
Where do you think should children learn about sex?
Sources:Why Sex Education Also Belongs in the Home; Advocates for Youth
Facts on American Teens’ Sources of Information About Sex; Guttmacher Institute
Sex education in schools pros and cons; YOUniversityTV
Sex Education in Schools; About.com
Moment Matters 
From a parent or both parents. It is not the State’s job to teach children anything.
From the very beginning parents are (ideally) the first, best, and most consistent teachers in a child’s life. We should address all the tough questions–not just sex, but all the really difficult questions a child comes up with–as best as we can.
Absolutely, John! It is an uncomfortable conversation to have but it must occur at the appropriate time. My daughter of 33 years was taught at home, primarily by her mother, my wife. Parents need to take this responsibility. The school can teach mechanics but the values have to come from the home and the parents.
I was always open with my children. I don’t believe parents should ever leave the job to anyone else.
I think school is an important place to learn such things because it helps a person get away from their family’s biases. The less a young person knows about sex, the more likely that they will make mistakes involving it. That is why even an abstinence program needs to be open and communicative about the situation
Hopefully, kids can feel open enough with their parents that they can ask them anything. I hope my kids feel that way. If not, they’ll learn plenty from friends.
I asked my son to go into the bathroom and get a bandaid. He came back with a condom, that he had already opened! He was 5 and recieved his first sex Ed class in the kitchen. I will never forget that moment and neither will he. Lol
I plan on teaching my children at home. I learned at school and that still didn’t prepare for the Healthy part of it or the Freedom part. Overall I mostly learned from experience which sometimes isn’t the best when you’re a teenager.
Ideally from the parents. My husband talked to our son about sex, and I’ve had some minor “conversations” with him about safe sex. My son (age 13) and I joke around about it. But there are no deep conversations between us. I leave those conversations for his dad. I will talk to my daughter when she is old enough. “The sex talk” is now given in school when the kids are in 4th grade.
The best way to avoid that conversation is do not have kids. Pretty simple. Of course i have 3 katz from the same litter and Roxy went into heat around 6 months & i had to have a talk w her brother Moe. And lock him in a separate room. So the whole reason my wife & i had katz instead of kids (to aviid the talk) failed.
I think a balance is needed. A child benefits from the sex talk at home because it comes along with whatever value/belief system the child is also learning from home (assuming there is one). A child will also benefit from “just the facts, man” which is mostly what my kids got from their programs at school. School might have even covered diseases and the like that I’m not aware of, having been out of the loop pretty much since I got married :-). I think it’s important for parents to be open with their kids about sex and intimacy. It’s not that awkward at our house when the topic surfaces.
The talks come way to early, my kids started hearing things on the bus in first grade. Some of these kids know too much way too early. Some things are new to me, did you know that if you make eye contact with a boy that it is called eye sex? I am lucky that my daughter is comfortable enough to ask me questions. They start with the sex ed in health class in 7th grade, you can sign off on the big video assembly they do and have your child not participate. She knows as much as I do so what is the harm? I guess kids were passing out and throwing up, what the heck was in this documentary? I went to catholic school we didn’t have things like this. She was mortified that she saw a penis and it had herpes! My son is older but unless you can date an xbox, I don’t worry as much with him. I try my best to keep the lines of communication open, it’s all I can do besides hold my breath!
I find it awful that this has become such a controversial subject. Having lived in Canada and Germany I have to say that I prefer the ‘European-style’ openness over the closet-paranoia that I saw in North America. Sex ed starts for me with teaching my son the proper names of body parts (vs. cutsy nick names), seeing family members naked, the sex talk (not looking forward to that one) and also sex ed in school. It takes a community to raise kids and this subject is no different. Kids learn by example, what adults and society display. Being comfortable in one’s own body is necessary above all to have a healthy sex life… No matter if someone chooses abstinence or not. (BTW, the US have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates and STDs because of this abstinence strategy.)
Thanks for bringing this up for discussion.