You can be an enemy or a friend depending on where you stand.
Photo from Bradley Gordon’s flickr
When a stranger came shoulder to shoulder out of a sudden, a person’s natural response is to protect herself and her belongings. Some will cast a hazy stare. Men may push him off without haste. This is because strangers are not welcome to enter our personal space.
Personal space is claimed territory around us. It is described as an “imaginary bubble”; and serves as an extension of our self. We are wary to people coming close to us. In situations where we are forced to crowd, we become uncomfortable. This is the reason co-riders in elevators are quiet.
People whom we have intimate relationships, be it friends or family, are permitted to invade our space. And at certain instances, we allow strangers to enter and shake hands or dip cheeks; but this is a brief contract of consent. A swift kiss from an acquaintance is alright but it’s a violation if it took minutes.
It is rude to strand next to someone and you’re too deep inside his personal space; but it is equally rude to be too away.
Culture defines a difference in personal space. Westerners generally have wider personal space compared to Asians because west people are more individualistic; and thus demand more territory. People from United States, Canada and England require the largest personal space.
Aside from geographical influences, men have broader comfort zones than women. People from the higher class of society expect more personal space. And understandably, victims of abuse need more space.
In social interactions, people should adjust to the demands of each other’s personal space. No matter how sincere your compliments are, it is the emotion you made them feel that they’ll remember. If you’re too far away, you’re aloof. If you’re too close, you’re overwhelming. Make sure you’re in the right ground to grant yourself a better impression.
It is hard to mentally calculate every person’s unique space requirements. We won’t know the history of our acquaintances either. But their behaviors will tell when we’re not at the optimal position. These signs include stepping forward or stepping back, clenching fists, covering the top lip, and leaning. Be aware of how they react.
What are your simple behaviors when people you’re interacting with are too far or too close?
Sources:Personal Space: Why Two Can Be a Crowd; Excelle
5 Signs you are invading my personal space; Ethical Behavior
Moment Matters 
Body language of others tells me who can come closer to me. Eye contact as well. I think my bubble is a little smaller than others…
It makes me really uncomfortable when someone stands too close, especially a stranger. I move away a step or two if someone is invading my personal space.
I don’t dispute what is being said in this post except what you said about people in the west being individualistic. This is not true. People in the west have tendency towards groupthink and this is not a sign of individualism. Democrats and republicans just seem to fall in line with the party ideology so people in the west are collectivist. I am not a fan of individualism but I do think groupthink can cause problems if it is not held in check with logic.
I tend to take a step back if they are too close. But I have a fairly large personal space area.
I don`t think personal space is defined on location or ethnic grounds so much as personal preference.
I work with kids with autism, so I’ve got kids three inches from my face like every day. When I get I need some room!
Oh, and for those creepers who stand too close, stand with your foot out in front of you and slouch back. They can’t get in your face unless they step on your foot. Solved!
Natural response matters.
I’m the warmest person in the world, I’m all for big hugs, but nothing irks me more than a stranger who is too close. If someone gets too close I’ll say something. And this brings up another annoying thing — when I’m food shopping and people get so close they hit me with their carriages. I always say things like, “You pushing me isn’t going to make me go any faster!”
I think that some psychics and intuitives can gauge how far an individual’s personal space reaches. Pretty cool!
My job is one where I invade peoples personal spaces all day. It can be very personal and I find that people often confide in me. There is an intimacy that is created when you touch someone and it can create an environment where people feel freer to unburden themselves to a relative stranger. I believe these “confessions” are sacred, if someone tells me their secrets I would never divulge them.
I don’t know if that is why I actually have a pretty big personal space of my own but I do. Depending on who and how it is being invaded I will protect it in different ways. I do say something if someone is too close or I step back, I may turn sideways or cross my arms to indicate my discomfort. But if I think my space it being invaded in an attempt to intimidate me I will not step back. I look them straight in the eye, I stand tall, I may even jut my chin out. And if the behavior continues I step forward and get real close, forcing them to step back. I hate it when someone tries to use their size to intimidate me, I am a small woman so it can happen a lot especially with men.
I admit, I don’t like strangers getting close. Most recently in the grocery line a woman behind me, got way to close behind me for not apparent reason. There was no one behind her. Bothered me a bit. She bothered me AND it bothered me that I was so uncomfortable. She wasn’t doing anything wrong but…I noticed how violated I felt? Violated may be the wrong word.. but I hated it. She clearly thought nothing of it. and as your blog points out, I’m pretty sure she was not from the US. Thanks for this post. Makes me realize I’m not as weird as I thought.
If people come too close I tend to take a step back or if sitting, lean away……I don’t like persons speaking right up in my face. If people are too far away, I move in closer all the while being mindful of their non-verbal behavior so as not to make them uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
This a good subject. I’m amazed at people who don’t seem to be able to guage personal space – either their own or that of others. For me however, it’s totally intuitive. And it does seem to work. For if I’m ever too close, another’s body language will immediately inform me of the fact. If they are too close to me, I back away. I don’t get the ‘too far’ thing very often, but if this is the case, I simply step forward until I feel a copacetic energy.